Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Breakdowns and Broccoli Soup

 Today I discovered/rediscovered 2 things about myself.

1. I made soup for the very first time, like ever, tonight. My Aunt Carin (my mom's sister) emailed me her recipe for Broccoli Cheddar Soup and I must have messed up somewhere. The soup never really did thicken up even though I did use the corn starch, which is the thickening agent. OH WELL, it still tasted good, just not perfect, and hey, it was my first experience with soup. As Michael said if I were on a cooking show I'd be told, "Ashley, it has great flavor with improper execution" or something to that extent. :) Here's a pic of the thin soup!

2. I was NOT created to be a public speaker.

I am having major stress issues with this whole public speaking thing. See, most of you know me as kind of being a ham, not minding attention. But for some reason when there is a set time where Ashley is supposed to stand up in front of 1 - 1 million people and talk about something, well my speaking abilities basically are shot. It gets so bad to the point where I can't breathe or complete sentences. Then I'm left standing in front of a group of people gasping for air, hands shaken utterly out of control, and semi-stuttering slinking it's way into my speech, it's awful, sad, and embarrassing!

Any way, today my small group of 4 met to practice our presentations and I literally only have to speak for a minute and a half. Well apparently that is even too much for my body to handle! My group asked me if I was ok, embarassing to say the least. I called Michael crying afterwards of embarrassment, why can't I talk?!? I even tried practicing in front of JUST Michael when I got home and the same thing happened! 

Luckily I have such a great man that he helped me edit my paper to a more manageable size and giving me more opportunities to breathe while speaking instead of reading a 2 lined sentence and about pass out midway through it! God is testing me, he is wanting me to get passed this. I am trying my best. Michael told me it's performance anxiety and it's normal, but it just seems so strange to me comparing it to the way I interact with people normally, no nervousness, rarely at all! Weird, oh well!

Oh and it seems that the bloodshot eyes will be sticking around for a while. I will be the four-eyed girl as Sam Coons refers to me when I wear my glasses. It's something about this time of year that my eyes really hate. It's funny to think it's allergies because nothing is really living outside at all!! 

Well I'm off to bed, the next 2 days are going to be craziness on crack. Homework due tomorrow, a test and a presentation on Thursday. Please keep my sanity in your thoughts!

1 comment:

  1. Whenever I mess up on cornstarch, it is because I don't mix it with cold water before adding it to the hot. Maybe that will help!

    Your blog is cute birthday twin!